Sunday, July 27, 2008

Coping...


Andrew and I went to his "Christmas in July" work dinner last night. It's so rare that we get to go to dinner without children and his work functions are fun to go to, so I was really looking forward to it.......

There were so many new faces there and then I was introduced to one of Andrew's work mates wives, Jane.

Jane is a teacher and her main role is working with "Special Needs Children" you know the Autistic, Down Syndrome etc etc. I had only meet this very lovely lady and 5 mins into our conversation we were discussing BJ and Autism and the children that she had worked with until recently, then out of the blue she said to me "You must be very special parents to do what you do" and I of course said "No, we do what we have to and take it day by day" then she said to me " Of course you do but I have seen it...I believe that people like you are given these children because you can cope." Cope, now there's a word.... is that what we do? I just thought what we did every day was lived, Andy and I don't question what we have to deal with we just get on with it and try to do the best we can.... To tell the truth, I would give up everything I own to have BJ "normal" to make his life that little bit easier. To not have to worry about what will happen to him when he grows up, to see him finish high school, to watch him drive a car, to see him get married and give me beautiful grandchildren to spoil and then not have to give the burden of looking after him to his brother when Andrew and I have gone....But that is never going to happen.... a wish that will never come true.

I am one of those mum's that doesn't let AUTISM consume my life. I can't because it would depress me to no end...So I scrapbook, and take photo's and have great supportive friends who because they love me love my son. I am so very lucky and when I am having a bad day ( which to be perfectly honest doesn't happen that often) and I get the "why me's" I think of all those wonderful parents who are sometimes so worse off than we are, that have to deal with things that I could only imagine and how they "cope" and I thank God for giving me this bright, smart, energetic, beautiful boy....He's mine and I love him.
Xx

7 comments :

Anne Elizabeth said...

Donna your postive mindset gives me insperation to have a better outlook about my own frustrations as a mother. You sound like such an amazing mother. Your boys are blessed to have you!

susy said...

OK Don, now I'm going to wipe the tears away and tell you how right she is.
Love you,
Susy.

Sandie said...

Dearest Don Don Don!! sniff sniff
I thought that I would just check out your blog to see what's happening with you.
OMG - I have to wipe away the tears & thank you as you remind me of just how blessed I am.
You are an amazing woman, mother & wife.
I thank God for bringing you into my life.
Looking forward to seeing you again soon.
luv ya!!

mindi said...

You sound so very strong, and what a wonderful mindset you have. As said before, your boys are blessed to have you as a mother.

Rachel's Journal Pages said...

I can only imagine the 'dreams' that you have had to put aside for your gorgeous BJ - like you said - the almost 'boring' stuff (well, a lot of parents would see good health and 'normal' kids growing-up milestones as boring, I think it is just taking all that for granted really) like: marriage, grandchildren, BJ getting his driver's license, etc.

I think of you often and you are an inspriation to parents that whinge/whine about their kids - you are just getting on with living - I take my hat off to you!

Thankyou so much for giving us an insight into your daily life and ups/downs with raising kids - I appreciate it heaps!

Anonymous said...

Donna,
eventhough you live your life as it is with verve and no regrets... please know that people are allowed to be AMAZED with you and compliment you!
I did not know as I've not known you long. I do know that i would be the same as you.
We love our children because we are meant to. We're their moms. And I think you are special too... so there. {smile}
hugs

The Broken Man said...

He looks like a lovely kid - and very lucky to have a mum like you. We have a friend who works at a school for kids with autism, and she has just the same caring attitude that you do...

The Broken man

http://theblogofabrokenman.blogspot.com/